Get the Facts...

Why It is So Hard to Leave

If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, it may be very hard to leave. Some of the reasons are:

Love

You may sincerely love your dating partner even if you may hate some of his or her behaviors.

Promises

Your partner may sugarcoat his or her words and promise the abuse won't happen again.

Confusion

You may be confusing genuine love and controlling love, especially if you've grown up in an abusive and unsupportive family.

Denial

You may be thinking, "It could be worse." Trying to downplay abuse is a common reaction, but it still doesn't make the abuse right.

Guilt

You may feel like the abuse is your fault, given that your boyfriend or girlfriend is likely to blame you for it.

Fear

You may be afraid of what would happen if you told the truth. Or maybe you fear being alone and would rather be in this relationship than in none at all.

Belief you can change your partner

You may cling to the hope that you can change your partner if you try hard enough or put enough time and devotion into it.

Low self-esteem

If you've been abused emotionally or verbally, you may feel like you're not loveable or worthy at all. Even if you're unhappy in the relationship, you may stay because you think you'll never find someone better who would love someone like you.

False hopes

You may think the violence will eventually stop. But, abuse is a pattern of behavior that's been established for a long time. It won't just stop on its own.

Peer pressure

The pressure to have a boyfriend or girlfriend can be extreme. You may be afraid of what your friends might think if you were single.

Do you use any of these reasons to stay in an abusive relationship? It's up to you to decide whether it's worth it to stay and whether your dating partner is sincerely committed to changing. But if you're positive that he or she can't change, leaving the relationship is the best choice to make before you get hurt even more.